Cianne's Creatives
This Collection is dedicated to the memory of a dear friend who has left our fair city. This collection of her writings and wisdom has often been neglected, so I would like to make sure that they are preserved, in the hopes that future generations may find more hope and light in them than we do now.
Musings Of An Old Soul:
Longevity: Dec.29/2016
As I ponder my dreams and life, I wonder if anyone truly "get's it" and I can only
venture to guess..no, they really don't.
For in these dreams, very few tend to delve into the lives, shards, or beginnings of others anymore.
I joke often about my age, about being old..to which I am usually met with.."Oh shut up you are not old!" or something
similar.
Well, the time has come to tell you, as none have ever asked, that I do not jest when I speak of being old
and feeling old. Though in my dreams, I physically project as I would have liked to stay.
I am Cianne Andrea McCleoud, and I was born in 1879 - which makes me.... 137 years old.
I have been a Midwife on my shard now for 119 years, watched friends and family as time passed all die all around me,
but I continue on. I decided an eon ago to seclude myself, not marry or have children,
for it is better to be alone than suffer the pain of loss over and over and over.
I cannont explain this longevity, though over the years I have heard tell of a wisened gentleman in the hills who is reputedly
over 200.
Maybe I will try to make the trip some day to see him to try to find answers.
*c
What We Think We Know: Sept.08/2017
This is not a poem, nor is it a story, it is an observation and it is a declaration and
an apology.
Too oft in the City of Dreams, we find ourselves at a stand still, dead ends, perhaps feeling a bit sorry
for ourselves.
We get angry, we lash out, OR we keep it all inside, until ultimately, we go away. Over the years I have done
this many times, sometimes, it is by my choosing, other times not. In doing so, I never thought of how my
going away would affect anyone, as I selfishly disappeared for weeks, months, years.
No matter how much you think that no one cares, at ALL, I can almost guarantee that there is at least
ONE dreamer, who is greatly affected by your absence.
I didn't think this, I had no idea, until this most recent return.
A couple of weeks ago, I was approached by a young lady whom I had met over this last year, a lovely
girl, a usually very quiet girl, a misunderstood girl, a complicated girl. A unique and amazing girl.
I was humbled and I was taken aback as this girl let me know just how much I had been missed,
and how it affected her over time. To say I was deeply touched, and very ashamed, would be an understatement.
Words can not describe how this show of emotion and affection warmed this old icy heart of mine.
My point? If you must go, and at times we all must. I implore you, to say goodbye, or say see you later,
to those you leave behind, so they do not worry, or stress or grieve.
Now, the poem, for my darling friend.
Please forgive me.
The lesson you have taught will remain.
You have made an imprint on my soul.
You are a shining light in a City of dark clouds.
Please forgive me.
My darling girl, wise beyond your years,
and years ahead of your time.
A treasure, a gift, I did not know
I had
a friend like this.
Please forgive me.
~c~
~Winds of Change~ - July.16/2017
Winds of change blow through my mind as a leaf carried away in a gale, to destinations unknown.
What once was, no longer is, the winds blustering out the old, to bring in the new.
Dreams and goals once aspired, swirl into dust of memory.
Twilight fades to black, lighting my mind afire.
Clear visions of the future weave into my thoughts, finding a place
as a new sliver of moon finds the obsidian sky.
My mind a blur with new and infinite possibilities.
~c~
Moments: Oct.19/2016
I must dream my dream the way that's right for me.
It may not be right for you but that is what makes us..
Diverse, unique, interesting, apathetic, driven...
If I am sitting alone, it is what I must do at that moment..
If I do not speak, it is what I must do at that moment..
If I sing, it is what I must do at that moment..
If I scream in anguish, it is what I must do at that moment..
If I wrap my arms around you in a warm embrace, it is what I must do at that moment..
If I choose not to take sides and walk away from a conflict, it is what I must do at that moment..
If I do not gossip, judge or berate people, it is what I must do...always...
If I cry or laugh or stomp or shout or do them all at once, it is what I must do at that moment..
Use your moments wisely...Use your moments kindly...while you still have moments to use....
*c
Untitled: Aug.06/2016
So much time has passed.
Time has been good, and bad.
Time has brought love, laughter, friends, enemies, heartache and loss.
Time made me
stronger
wiser
older
obsolete
wistful
outcast
lost
unsure
bitter
angry
sad
and alone.
For now....
Time is up.
*c
Untitled: Nov.23/2015
The puppet danced happily, oblivious to all else except the hands that controlled the strings....
But the strings became tangled and twisted beyond reparation, and so they were cut....one, by one....by one.....
and the puppet fell...into a useless heap of despair.
*c
The Cell: Nov.23/2015
The cell is cold and dark, how many days has it been? Time and space no longer exist. How did I get here?
My vision is shrouded, I can't remember. The voices echo through the dark. I dig at the walls until my fingers bleed.
I call out to no one, my cries and protests lost in the void. No light at the end of the tunnel.
I sleep, wrapped in a blanket of misery, disdain and resignation...
*c
The Thrill: Nov.25/2015
Heart beating fast, adreniline at it's peak, the hunter stalks his prey.
Silent and swift a master of stealth. The battle begins, eternal enemies fight to the last.
There can only be one victor, the thrill of the kill....
*c
Pass The Torch: Dec.01/2015
The dreams of old are gone.
You were a hero once, out to save the world,
save the dream, and you did...many times over.
A leader, you had center stage.
Your name and your brave deeds were celebrated,
constantly surrounded, adored by your peers.
A legend in their eyes, and your own. A star.
They could not get enough of you.
But the dreams of old are gone.
You have faded away, they no longer know who you are;
What you've done, where you've gone, what you've seen.
It is time to stand back, become a face in the crowd.
Observe...listen...follow...
Pass the torch.
*c
Lament: Dec.08/2015
I wonder if you know...
That I look for you each dream
That I long to hear your voice
That when you speak, I hang on every word
That your smile and wit enthralls me
That when you stand near me, my heart beats a little faster
That when you look at me, I am suddenly shy and awkward
That I wish I was the one, garnering all your attention
That when you are gone, I despair
That I have waited for years
I wonder if you feel the same...
I will keep on wondering
Because I am a coward
I lament....
*c
Do We See: Dec.13/2015
Are we kind to those in need, the ones who's hearts and souls will bleed?
Do we see the dark closing in, or focus on our every whim?
Do we use our hearts to satiate, and continue on our paths of hate?
Raise a spirit of one you know, who's fate has dealt a brutal blow...
Selfishness will always lose, it is up to you to choose...
Come together as one, to save this dream we've all begun.
*c
Wonderland: Dec.17/2015
Exquisite purity wafts from the sky,
Trees like glistening diamonds sparkle in the moonlight.
An awed reverie as you walk in cottony silence, clearing your mind of the day.
Your breath in the air gracefully floats then disappears into the night.
This is the beauty of my winters eve...
True Light: Dec.23/2015
Blessed with this presence many years ago,
how long, I cannot say for sure, for my memory is failing with age.
A light in the darkness, this one shines ever clear.
A mind and imagination beyond all compare, there is nothing
this one can't do.
Strong, a brave fighter, when duty calls, yet gentle and kind
in times when a friend is lost or in need.
Reluctant to let you see into the heart that loves, fears, hurts at times.
Yes, blessed am I to know this one, who has been ever true, my friend.
Don't ever be afraid to soar or try...
I will catch you if you fall.
My dear, my Butterfly.
The New Year: Dec.29/2015
The old year brought trouble and strife,
Bladeslayer was saved, Agonarius lost life.
The Lyceum was here, then it was not,
The Marshal said they musta' forgot.
Prisoners in many cells, they cried.
Why did some of them have to die?
Figment gave us fractals to see,
filling the rooms with joy and glee.
Jasper arrived on the scene, with clothing so rare,
he is the best teacher, anywhere!
Consortium members gave us a fright,
The Yazas shared their gift of sight.
A cowboy gave us chance to sing,
laughter through the halls did ring.
Many new dreamers blessed our midst,
Lucy, Amy, and Will on the list.
Arnaya keeps us all up to date,
her reporting skills are always first rate.
Poor Dina, many trials of doom,
pray that we see her cured, and soon!
Vampyro served up the drinks at the bar,
some of his mixtures deserve a gold star.
So many things that have happened this year,
Far too many it seems....
I hope that the future will bring you good cheer,
Be well and see you in my dreams.....
Nearly Invisible: Jan.05/2016
Insightful Sir, the City knows of your talent.
They just forget to tell you. Mostly quiet, nearly invisible.
Those that have, always want more, there is never enough.
do not let your guard down, they will only take from you.
Humble and kind with a touch of mischief and levity,
You do not boast of your many accomplishments.
You have an all encompassing wisdom.
You are a Gift.
The Journey: Jan.20/2016
The journey began as many do,
with unfamiliar places, people, ideas.
The journey is neverending it seems.
a journey of excitement, of knowledge, of self discovery.
A journey of hope, despair, love and loss.
A journey of learning, teaching, being blind and seeing.
A journey of incredible sights, sounds and experiences.
A journey of fear and bravery.
A journey where your every thought,
can become a reality.
But it is not real.
It is the journey of dreams...
In a world that demands...
that you keep your head out of the clouds,
and stay awake.
Young or Old: Jan.26/2016
Who is the judge of young...and old..
Many old people look and feel very young..
And far too many young people look and feel VERY old..
What makes it so? Lifestyle? Genetics?
So then what is the answer, who is the judge?
In Akkadian and The Marshal's eyes, we are all young pups...whippersnappers!
In Zsa Zsa's eyes, we are all quite ancient....-and- weird.
So who is the judge?
I have decided not to be either, but somewhere,
Right in the middle!
Daggers: Feb.10/2016
Peering in from the outside,
I read words flung like daggers,
slicing to the very heart.
I do not understand the reason.
Dreamers overcome with eunni,
smothered in discontent,
become bitter...
reaching for a purpose.
The purpose seems to be to hurt, to stifle,
to anger, to stir the pot.
This is supposed to be a dream,
I am reluctant to close my eyes,
As for now, it seems only a horrendous nightmare....
Percevere: Apr.15/2016
The daggers have been put away, mostly....
The city is growing, new faces alight with wonder.
Returning dreamers, greet old friends and welcome the new.
Stronger with each passing dream.
But we are in trouble here....
Unknown forces gather to take us down, destroy our dreams,
obliterate our City.
Our time is now.
Stand strong.
Gather together.
Befriend your foes..you must.
We can not lose.
Persevere....
Introvert: May.03/2016
I - Indignant
N - Neurotic
T - Theatrical
R - Ruse
O - Obsolete
V - Vanishing
E - Empath
R - Run
T - Terrifying
Addendum: May.10/2016
In NO way, shape or form did I mean to intimate that the current holders of the Wordsmith mark were not worthy of the station or not working hard...not at all, quite the contrary. I see on a day to day basis the work these dreamers do and have a great deal of respect for them, they are very talented and active in the City. It was simply my -own personal opinion- about the Lyceum.. for me? I would undoubtedly get booted out if I DID have the mark, as I would not be able to keep up with what is expected, due to frequent absenses, boredome that occasionally overtakes me, and I get very lazy and don't want to do -anything-...so again, just my opinion.
Is this me eating crow? I guess, sort of... because when a lovely dear friend gets pissed at me, it hurts my heart , and I realize I have to fix it. So I apologize, to the current Wordsmiths, if I hurt your feelings, it was certainly not my intention.
I have always tended to speak my mind...I will always get things out there,(many a dreamer can attest to that) rather than talk behind people's backs...and usually it gets people angry with me, as is the case with this particular subject.
This is something that I cannot help...it is who I am, perhaps a personality flaw of mine...but I'll keep doing it...as long as I still have a mind that works.
Kings and Queens: May.11/2016
In and out of glowing portals dreamers come and go.
Apathy takes hold of those destined for greatness, the quiet ones.
They did not hear their calling.
Avarice and haughtiness overcome those who have achieved such greatness.
Kings and Queens of Art and Might.
Secretly feared and loathed by all.
Intimidated by none....
Dreamers Prayer: May.14/2016
May your Faith guide you when it seems all hope is lost...
May you regard each other with respect and kindness...
May you hold to your convictions...
May you follow your path to your destiny...
May you be a shining light when darkness pervades...
May you trust in your fellow dreamers...
May you see Hope when everything seems to crumble around you...
May you continue to seek wisdom in all things...
May you hold your head high when others may scorn...
May you dream your dream..as it was meant to be dreamt.
May mercy and grace find you in your time of need, and bring you peace and joy.
You Don't Know: May.16/2016
Anguish, bitterness, anger..pushed aside...
Trying to decide when to forgive, or if...
You don't know how I feel.
Moments of indecision, cowardice, swept under the carpet...
It makes you all feel better, to forget...
pretend it never happened.
You don't know how I feel.
Hours and days and months, replay in my mind...
No hope, no faith, an infinite trail of nothing
and no one.
You don't care how I feel.
You never did.
Masters of sparkle and shine...
Theatrical masks.
Priorities.
Masquerade and Come Down: May.24/2016
Gone again.
Though I knew it was time, I felt it, pushed it aside.
Hoping for just one more day.
Dead, alive, suffering, no way of knowing.
I'll not show my pain. My emptiness, My fear.
I hope you find what you're looking for.
As always I am, Queen of the masquerade.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Come down from that pedestal you were placed on.
Dream the dream you always wished.
Come down from that rocky cliff,
where you balance on the edge everyday, hoping not to fall.
Come down from the high anxiety that has you in it's grip.
Rest and calm your troubled heart, find your dream again.
Wax and Wane: May.26/2016
My heart waxes and wanes like an ocean tide.
It always has.
I try so hard not to let it be so,
but in the end I am a soul endlessly searching for things
to fill an emptiness that I cannot describe or explain.
It has always been there and it seems it will always be.
I envy those who find what makes them feel whole,
as I continue to tread water,
in an endless ocean of despair.
All He Ever Wanted: June.26/2016
All he ever wanted was to find a place of peace.
All he ever wanted was to be himself.
All he ever wanted was to learn.
All he ever wanted was to teach.
All he ever wanted was to help.
All he ever wanted was to be a friend.
All he ever wanted was to be part of a family.
All he ever wanted was to bring you a wish.
All he wants...
is to Dream.
Untitled: July.10/2016
The journey continues as I delve deep into my soul for answers.
Who am I?
Where do I belong?
What is right?
What is wrong?
How many times will I make this journey, this journey I have already made countless times before.
The answers never come.
What am I missing?
Who do I ask?
I try prayers
Tears
Anger
Solitude
More prayers.
Taroneh taught me to pray,
I have forgotten how.
They used to work.
They no longer work now.
Dreamers of Underlight Calendar: Dec.17/2016
Miss January - Purple Lace
The Library of the Unknown is depicted. Sitting nude at a table filled with tomes and scrolls is a gorgeous woman. She peeks with a playful look from beneath A pair of beautiful spectacles bejeweled with garnets which are perched upon her nose. Luxurious waves of soft curled violet colored hair drapes over her bare breasts, obscuring them from view. She holds a stategically placed tome in her lap.
Mister February - Cupid
A plain red background with white heart at each corner. A cherubic fellow with fiery red hair stands with his backside to you. He is looking back over his shoulder blowing a kiss. A small bow and arrow is slung over one shoulder. One of his nude cheeks has a heart tattoo with an arrow through it.
Miss March - Jade
Rolling hills of lush green set the stage for this alluring beauty. Her cascading locks of emerald compliment her rather interesting bikini outfit, created soley from shamrocks. She has a radiant smile and beautiful alluring eyes.
Mister April - Dreiko
A dark haired, ruggedly handsome looking, shirtless man, is sitting in a relaxed pose, with one knee up, amidst a pile of painted eggs. He is smiling at several fluffy bunnies that are in the vicinity.
Miss May - Hael Frost
Amid a forest of beautiful white trillium is a petite woman wearing a white leotard and fluttering ballet skirt, satin pointe slippers on her delicate feet. Incredibly long shining hair flows like a gentle river to her feet, splayed out among the flowers. Her eyes are a lovely and unforgettable powdery pink hue.
Mister & Mrs. June - Aileron & Anasina
Fantasy Falls in the Basin is the setting. The adorable couple are under the the water, exposed only from the shoulders up. A bright beam of sunshine falls upon their smiling faces as they gaze into each others eyes.
Mister July - Vampyro
A rogueish playful grin is on this seemingly nude, handsome man's face as he stands behind his bar, which comes to waist level. He winks playfully in merriment and holds up a tankard of ale in toast.
Miss August - Arnaya
A slender woman wearing only a bikini bottom lays on her belly, propped up by her elbows, on a sandy beach. A long crimson braid lays down the center of her back. A pile of chakrams are within arms reach. She holds a strawberry tauntingly to her lips with a sly grin.
Mister September - Wolfgar
The normally hooded and cloaked Wolfgar, stands regally dressed in a black dinner jacket with long tails, Matching black trousers with an immaculate crease down the legs, and a ruby red brocade vest with no shirt. Black shoes are buffed to a pristine shine. He has an elegant walking cane and a top hat. Sitting obediantly at his feet is an adorable wolf pup with a red bow tie around its neck.
Miss October - Flower of Cienn
This radiant beauty is depicted standing in the celebration hall of the OOL. She is wearing a form fitting gold lame' dress that molds to her womanly curves. White lace gloves reach to her elbows. She blows you a kiss with pouty ruby red lips.
Mister November - Xererth
Xererth, though accustomed to warmer climes, is depicted standing near Wishbringers Ice Palace. A brilliant happy smile is on his reptilian face as he juggles a snow ball in each of his many outstretched arms as Cianne stands by seemingly creating more snow.
Miss December - Snow Angel
Snow Angel stands near a beautifully decorated tree with glowing lights and sparkling icicles hanging from each branch. Her eyes twinkle beautifully in the lights .She is wearing only a Scarlet red parka that reaches just to mid thigh.It has a floppy hood, trimmed in luxurious white fur which she is clutching loosely to her face with a playful smile. The parka showcases lightly tanned and toned gorgeous legs. Crystal heeled slippers on her feet are trimmed with glittering diamond accents.